I think the problem here is that neither Gandolfini nor Williams really fulfilled the criteria based on their theater work alone.
Gandolfini was in the ensemble of a production of Streetcar Named Desire in 1992, was in a production of On the Waterfront that opened and closed in a week in 1995, and then appeared in his Tony-nominated role in God of Carnage in 2009. Williams was in Waiting for Godot at the Newhouse in 1988, brought his stand-up act to Broadway for 3 performances in 2002, and appeared in Bengal Tiger in 2011 (for which he received no awards recognition except for a Drama League nomination). Neither man would be considered to be a "man of the theater."
Joan Rivers co-wrote and starred in Fun City in 1972, which opened and closed in a week, was the replacement Kate for the last 3 months of Broadway Bound in 1988, and co-wrote, starred, and was Tony-nominated for Sally Marr in 1994. None of the three have a strong theater tie, but I don't think her theater credits are less significant than Gandolfini's or Williams's, and you could make the argument hers are more substantial because she co-wrote two of her shows.
I think there are an awful lot of people who have theater credits of equal or greater substance. For example, Christopher Evan Welch, who died last year, appeared in 3 Broadway shows, was a Drama Desk nominee and Obie winner, and had a TON of Off-Broadway appearances (iobdb.com lists 17 different productions). The theater was a large focus of his career. But he didn't get the lights dimmed in his honor.
The overall affection and admiration of Gandolfini and Williams led to the dimming in their honor, but once you start down that road of honoring people who did not have a strong theater link, it's hard to justify why they got honored and others did not.
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