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Anything Goes 2017
Posted by: TheHarveyBoy 11:05 am EDT 10/17/17

Here's a video of Bryan Batt singing an update "Anything Goes" at a benefit, with brilliant lyrics by Joe Keenan. The lyrics are below but it's well worth watching!

ANYTHING GOES (2017 Version)

Times have changed.
Porter’s ditty was once risqué,
But if Porter could see today,
And decorum’s complete decay,
He would say,
“Though the thirties were hot as hell,
Everything that went then still goes . . .
And a whole lot else as well!”
When gays can wed and jaws aren’t dropping
When Barney and Ben go shopping
For baby clothes,
Anything goes!
When dames as dim as Kim Kardashian
Triumph by acting trashy in
Tawdry shows,
Anything goes!
The smut you can get today
On the net today,
Straight or gay today,
And all day today,
‘Cause burlesque today
Is on your desk today,
Where nobody can oppose.
When girls of ten are adolescing
And proving the fact by dressing
Like tiny ho’s,
Anything goes!
When Grandma’s face is pulled so tightly
She looks like a Keira Knightley
Whose eyes won’t close,
Anything goes!
When authors feel bereft and bitter
‘Cause Twitter will soon obliterate
English prose,
Anything goes.
We’re tethered like drones today
To our phones today,
As we tap today
At each app today,
And friends text to us
While standing next to us
With their screens against their nose
When Cary Grants and Spencer Tracys
Have turned into Kevin Spacys
And Russell Crowes
Anything goes
When stars can chose to keep their gender
Or mark it “Return to Sender”
Then Caitlyn shows
Anything goes.
When Facebook has us all believing
Each insight that we’re perceiving
We must disclose,
Anything goes.
All foods that are sweet today
We can’t eat today,
And no wheat today,
Or red meat today,
For a treat today
I ate a beet today,
But my derriere still grows!
When men of god who preach with thunder
Are looking for fun with underage
Romeos,
Anything goes!
When buying pot takes less bravado
Than buying an avocado
At Trader Joe’s,
Anything goes!
When football stars of every color
Are praying that Robert Mueller
Will end their woes,
Anything goes!
The phonies in charge today
They live large today,
And book jets today
For their pets today,
And then fret today
About the debt today
That Puerto Rico owes!
When Harvey Weinstein’s not refuting
That women have seen him shooting
Much more than shows,
Anything goes!
Anything goes!
Link Anything Goes 2017
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Previous: One Ticket for TORCH SONG this evening - Tuesday Oct 17 at 7pm - see shoppin' - rikepsych 12:14 pm EDT 10/17/17
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