Wow - had to re-read your post several times to make sure I wasn't reading it wrong.
This is the very last show-or cast- that I'd call smug or self-congratulatory. Maybe you're confusing a very hard-working group of people that genuinely seem to like each other and love what they're doing with those words. Their enthusiasm is infectious and radiates right off the stage, I wish more shows were like that. Everyone is entitled to their opinion but I honestly can't imagine how anyone, especially a gay person could come away with those impressions. At the very least, this show promotes an important message about inclusion that you should be cheering about.