| The Modern Social Distancer's Song from The Pirates of Pandemic | |
| Posted by: LarryB 08:22 am EDT 06/24/20 | |
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| (Whiling away the time in isolation by rewriting the lyrics to the Modern Major-General's song) Yes, yes, I am a social distancer. and it is, it is a glorious thing to be a social distancer! I am the very model of a modern social distancer I walk alone and sleep alone so COVID I do not incur I know the heads of CDC and pandemics of history From Spanish flu to Ebola, nothing is a mystery. I'm very well acquainted, too, with epidemiology Infection rates and testing rates and matters of biology I keep six feet away from folks and wash my hands repeatedly About the merits of face masks, I could debate you heatedly. I'm very good with Lysol wipes and disinfecting groceries Of latex gloves and Clorox bleach, I have become a devotee In short, I do so many things so COVID I do not incur I am the very model of a modern social distancer. Chorus: In short, he does so many things so COVID he does not incur He is the very model of a modern social distancer. In fact, when I know what is meant by COVID ACE-2 receptors When I worry about reagents for viral load detectors When I read these Facebook posts critiquing autocratic leaders And think with fury about these lying murderous misdeeders When I follow news about reducing that infernal R nought And hope asymptomatic spreaders get rounded up to be shot With weird drugs that will reduce the viral load of their secretions But not hydroxychloroquine, it leads to complete deletion. When I use the video apps: Facetime, Zoom and Marco Polo And in a pinch, to keep us all healthy, I will do it solo It means I do so many things so COVID I do not incur I am the very model of a modern social distancer! Chorus: It means he does so many things so COVID he does not incur He is the very model of a modern social distancer! -L. H. Baer, with apologies to Gilbert & Sullivan and, really, to everyone. |
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