This is partially true, but a bad mindset to use
I know a lot of NB people, and a lot of people who exclusively use They/Them pronouns. The community is not a monolith, and not everyone reacts the same to misgendering.
But the vast majority of feedback I’ve heard is that most people will often feel uncomfortable correcting others on their pronouns, especially in the middle of a conversation. And so they will act “understanding” in the moment, but will often feel hurt internally.
And while it can be difficult to get used to new pronouns, and everyone deserves some understanding, there is a right and a wrong to take advantage of that understanding.
Saying “it’s hard to get used to this” should not be carte blanche to use whatever pronouns you want. You have to put in the effort to adjust your behavior, and when you slip up, quickly correct yourself, and move on.
In other words, they may be “understanding,” but only if you correct yourself, and putt in the effort right away, and not making a long-term habit out of using the wrong pronouns.
I’ve heard many NB people say they don’t even want an apology, because this just draws more attention to it, and makes them feel obligated to say “it’s ok” in response. |
