I agree with your perspective. I strongly disliked Kinky Boots for the reasons you point out.
I found the lack of exploration of Lola's sexuality and gender identity entirely confusing. I walked away felling like a piece of the show was missing. I realize the film didn't explore those issues either, but it felt like a missed opportunity in the musical.
The Full Monty musical did a much better job at expanding themes from it's source material.