re: Are actors just stating they are non-binary because it is the rage?
Posted by: ntjvy 11:14 pm EST 02/02/23
In reply to: Are actors just stating they are non-binary because it is the rage? - huskyital 03:59 pm EST 02/02/23

I have a different suspicion and that is that we now have a far-reaching framework for understanding what many people have felt for a very long time. I know this is said all of the time, but it's worth repeating, gender is a social construct. It is a set of rules that a person with a certain set of genitalia is expected to follow. To be non-binary is to say "those rules don't resonate with me" or "those rules are counter to my instincts." Those rules change dramatically over time. In the 17th century, women who wished to have an education would have been deviating pretty dramatically from their gender norm. As would women of a certain class not wishing to ride side saddle. For a good stretch of time in American and European society, young children were put in dresses or gowns until the age of four or five, regardless of their sex. A five-year-old male child In our current world is violating modern gender norms that say "dresses are for girls". it means different things. The color "pink" wasn't considered "feminine" until the 1940s.

All of this is to say, that someone saying they are "non-binary" is just as much a statement about the social structure of gender in their world, as it is about themselves. And we now have language for that dissonance.

I'm in my 40s. I have spent my entire life with discomfort in dresses. Went through a stage in elementary and middle school where I was constantly misgendered because I liked my hair short and was most comfortable in t-shirts. I never learned how to flirt in a way that is "girly", when people refer to me as a "woman" I never correct them, but I do feel a misalignment. Like they are making presumptions about me, based on the societal framework, that are not accurate. I do not feel out of line with my body though. i am not in alignment with gender norms. For much of my life, I thought that I was just "not a very good woman" or not "good at being a girl" or that there was something deeply about me with my inability to conform. Now I have a different framework for understanding my experiences and language to talk to others with similar experiences. There are generations of young people coming up with this new framework and able to see themselves in it. THAT I think is what is actually happening. And it's not just in theater.

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Next: I don’t know… - KingSpeed 03:41 am EST 02/05/23

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