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The Asphalt Christmas

Theatre Review by Howard Miller

The Asphalt Christmas
Todd Michael, Courtney Cook, and Meg Mark.
Photo by Jamie Cox.

Anyone looking to sprinkle the holiday season with a hefty dose of silly need look no further than the Lion Theatre at Theatre Row and the zany production of Todd Michael's The Asphalt Christmas.

Mr. Michael, a playwright with a string of spoofy works to his name bearing titles like Bad Dames Go To Hell and The Poverty Row Double Horror Show, has gone all out with The Asphalt Christmas, which draws on his self-professed love of old movies and a penchant for channel surfing.

The play abounds with references to the kinds of movies that show up regularly on television this time of year, even if they have precious little connection to Christmas, from The Bells of St. Mary's to It's A Wonderful Life, with The Bad Seed, and The Exorcist thrown in for good measure. Mr. Michael, who appears in drag as Dixie, a stripper longing to be reunited with her daughter, draws inspiration as well from the absurdist and campy plays of Charles Busch and Charles Ludlam.

The closest The Asphalt Christmas comes to something so mundane as a plot involves Dixie's efforts to walk away from burlesque, marry her boyfriend Eddie (Timothy J. Cox), and bring home her teenage daughter Veda (Meg Mark), whom she parked at St. Celestine's Convent at the age of six. That Veda is possessed by the devil complicates matters a bit, but trust Sister Joseph (Courtney Cook), Sister Bernadette (David L. Zwiers, who is also responsible for the spot-on costume design), and Father O'Day (Chris Kateff) to get things under control.

What keeps The Asphalt Christmas from being a "head spinning" - to borrow a clever bit from The Exorcist - groaner is the absolute commitment of the ensemble of actors to the tone and high style of the goings-on. Most of the cast members are back after a previous production in 2011, and they all work beautifully together under the fine-tuned direction of Lawrence Lesher. Kudos, too, to Louis Lopardi, who is responsible for the lighting and the terrific sound design, with music and sound effects straight out of radio dramas.

With the entire cast singing us out of the theater with a tongue-in-cheek Christmas carol ("The First Syllable of Christmas Is The Greatest Syllable of All," with lyrics by Mr. Michael and music by Joemca), The Asphalt Christmas is a hoot and a great antidote to the stresses of the season.


The Asphalt Christmas
Through December 21
Running Time: 85 minutes, with no intermission
The Lion Theatre, 410 West 42nd Street between 9th and 10th Avenues
Tickets online and current Performance Schedule: Telecharge


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